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Slap You With A Fish (Adult Unisex Hoodie)

Slap You With A Fish (Adult Unisex Hoodie)

Regular price $49.99 USD
Regular price Sale price $49.99 USD
Sale Sold out
Shipping calculated at checkout.

The Fish Slap That Never Was

Sometimes, love is patient.
Sometimes, love is kind.
And sometimes... love is standing in your kitchen, imagining slapping someone with a trout.

There I was, mid-argument with my beloved, watching them explain how they “accidentally deleted the entire vacation folder” for the third time.

I didn’t yell. I didn’t freak out.

Instead, I pictured myself — calm, composed — walking into a seafood market, buying the freshest fish available, chilling it for maximum slap impact, then thwack!

Right across the forehead. Graceful. Olympic-level restraint.

But did I do it?

No.
Because I’m mature. I’m zen. I’m practically a monk with Wi-Fi.

So instead, I just took a deep breath, smiled through my teeth, and said:
“It’s okay. Really. I’m fine."

This design is for the ones who love hard, laugh harder, and occasionally imagine assault... with seafood.

You're not aggressive. You're just passionately patient.

Love the story? Scroll down to see material quality, care info, shipping, and return details.

Ready to make everyone smile? (and in need of self-defense training).

Create laughs, smiles, and funny reactions. Grab yours now!

Estimated Delivery: 4-6 business days.

  • Free Shipping
  • Secure Checkout
  • Free 30-Day Returns

Why You'll Love It

Elephant Gift - A great gift for loved ones or yourself, perfect for light-hearted banter.

Smiles & Laughter - Create funny and happy memories with family, friends, and strangers alike.

Conversation Starter - When people see you wearing this hoodie, many won't be able to resist asking you about it!

Funny Reactions - Witness all the hilarious reactions people have to your hoodie. (Especially when they are trying to hide their reaction from you!)

Shipping & Returns

Free shipping - No extra costs at checkout

Estimated delivery - 4-6 business days for U.S. orders.

Easy Returns - 30-day hassle-free returns through our self-return portal.

Return Shipping - We cover the cost of return shipping.

Order The Wrong Size? - No problem. Return or exchange within 30 days of delivery, and we'll cover the cost of the return label.

Stolen - If your package is stolen before you receive it, we've got you. We'll send a free one-time replacement - no stress, no hassle.

Lost Order - If your order is lost we will send you a replacement or give you a store gift card of the same value.

Will my order arrive in one shipment? If you order products from different categories, your packages will arrive in separate shipments. (E.g. apparel, mugs, posters.)

Track Your Order here: Where is my order?

See our return policy for more info.

Hoodie Material

Hoodie Quality:

Material Blend: Soft 50% cotton, 50% polyester. (47% cotton / 53% polyester for Sports Grey)

Weight & Feel: Midweight for all-season comfort.

Comfort Factor: Air jet yarn = extra soft + low pilling.

Hood Details: Double-lined hood with matching drawstrings.

Built to Last: Reinforced stitching all around.

Stretch & Fit: Ribbed cuffs and waistband with a slight stretch.

Shrink Control: Pre-shrunk to keep its shape.

Care Instructions

Care Instructions:

  • Turn inside out
  • Do not bleach
  • Machine wash cold
  • Tumble dry on low
  • Do not dry clean
  • Do not iron
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Disclaimer: Side effects include laughs, eye rolls, and new friends

At Purely Funny, we specialize in designs that cause uncontrollable giggles, sarcastic smirks, and occasional bonding with strangers. We're not doctors, but we do prescribe a heavy dose of humor. Side effects may vary, but if your face starts hurting from smiling, don't say we didn't warn you.