Be the reason someone snorts today.

Stay Away Until I've Had Coffee (Adult Unisex Hoodie)
Stay Away Until I've Had Coffee (Adult Unisex Hoodie)
The Pre-Coffee Zone
At exactly 6:45 a.m., I rise from bed like a groggy swamp creature.
My family knows the rules. No eye contact. No questions. No sudden movements. Last time someone asked me where the car keys were before I had coffee, I just whispered, “Run,” and pointed to the woods.
One time my neighbor said “Good morning!”
I blinked. He hasn’t tried again.
Once the coffee hits, I’m human again — polite, functional, maybe even pleasant. But until then?
Approach at your own risk.
I’m basically a grizzly with Wi-Fi.
Love the story? Scroll down to see material quality, care info, shipping, and return details.
Ready to make everyone smile? (or polite fear if you don't get your morning joe).
Create laughs, smiles, and funny reactions. Grab yours now!
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Estimated Delivery: 4-6 business days.
- Free Shipping
- Secure Checkout
- Free 30-Day Returns
Why You'll Love It
Why You'll Love It
Elephant Gift - A great gift for loved ones or yourself, perfect for light-hearted banter.
Smiles & Laughter - Create funny and happy memories with family, friends, and strangers alike.
Conversation Starter - When people see you wearing this hoodie, many won't be able to resist asking you about it!
Funny Reactions - Witness all the hilarious reactions people have to your hoodie. (Especially when they are trying to hide their reaction from you!)
Shipping & Returns
Shipping & Returns
Free shipping - No extra costs at checkout
Estimated delivery - 4-6 business days for U.S. orders.
Easy Returns - 30-day hassle-free returns through our self-return portal.
Return Shipping - We cover the cost of return shipping.
Order The Wrong Size? - No problem. Return or exchange within 30 days of delivery, and we'll cover the cost of the return label.
Stolen - If your package is stolen before you receive it, we've got you. We'll send a free one-time replacement - no stress, no hassle.
Lost Order - If your order is lost we will send you a replacement or give you a store gift card of the same value.
Will my order arrive in one shipment? If you order products from different categories, your packages will arrive in separate shipments. (E.g. apparel, mugs, posters.)
Track Your Order here: Where is my order?
See our return policy for more info.
Hoodie Material
Hoodie Material
Hoodie Quality:
Material Blend: Soft 50% cotton, 50% polyester. (47% cotton / 53% polyester for Sports Grey)
Weight & Feel: Midweight for all-season comfort.
Comfort Factor: Air jet yarn = extra soft + low pilling.
Hood Details: Double-lined hood with matching drawstrings.
Built to Last: Reinforced stitching all around.
Stretch & Fit: Ribbed cuffs and waistband with a slight stretch.
Shrink Control: Pre-shrunk to keep its shape.
Care Instructions
Care Instructions
Care Instructions:
- Turn inside out
- Do not bleach
- Machine wash cold
- Tumble dry on low
- Do not dry clean
- Do not iron






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Disclaimer: Side effects include laughs, eye rolls, and new friends
At Purely Funny, we specialize in designs that cause uncontrollable giggles, sarcastic smirks, and occasional bonding with strangers. We're not doctors, but we do prescribe a heavy dose of humor. Side effects may vary, but if your face starts hurting from smiling, don't say we didn't warn you.